Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2008 19:17:03 GMT -8
so there's this couple who've been happliy married for many years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's terrible habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air!
Every morning she would plead for him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He always replied that it was perfectly natural and he could not stop it.
She told him to see a doctor because she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts completely out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked down at the innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.... and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl of entrails and snuck upstairs where her husband was still blissfully asleep and,.... gently pulling the bed covers back, she stealthfully pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants to empty the tepid bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, this time to be followed by a blood curdling scream, which, in turn, was followed by the sound of frantic footsteps as the husband ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned that she had gotten him back pretty well.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you been warning me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened."
"But, by the grace of God, some vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!" ;D
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's terrible habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air!
Every morning she would plead for him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He always replied that it was perfectly natural and he could not stop it.
She told him to see a doctor because she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts completely out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked down at the innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.... and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl of entrails and snuck upstairs where her husband was still blissfully asleep and,.... gently pulling the bed covers back, she stealthfully pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants to empty the tepid bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, this time to be followed by a blood curdling scream, which, in turn, was followed by the sound of frantic footsteps as the husband ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!
After years of torture she reckoned that she had gotten him back pretty well.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what the matter was.
He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you been warning me and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened."
"But, by the grace of God, some vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!" ;D